Ilona, cartoon portrait
The Chaos Agent

Ilona

Chaos agent by day. Quietly takes the night shift when somebody is unwell.

Things Ilona does

  • Was offered two collars, walked over, picked one up in her mouth, and chose it twice.
  • Starts talking the instant a door closes. Any door. Immediately.
  • Has tried a doorknob. Lacks the grip. Does not lack the will.
  • Waits and complains at the closet door, three feet from the right door, and looks embarrassed when you walk past her.
  • Takes the extra shift whenever someone is sick, tired or sad. Every single time.
Book Four

Her story, roughly

Book Four opens with a trapper who wrote down that she was chill. He had known her for about eleven minutes.

I’m fine. Are you fine? Open the door.

— Ilona, from the hallway
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